Favourite crap jokes here please.

I'll kick things off...

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender "Got any bread?"

The barman replies, "No."

The duck says again "Got any bread?"

And the barman replies again, "No!"

"Got any bread?"

"I said, N-O... NO!"

"Got any bread?"

"For cryin' out loud - N-O spells NO and I mean NO!!"

"Got any bread?"

"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!"

"Got any bread?"

"Look, if you ask me one more time if I've got any bread, I'm going to nail your fucking beak to the bar!! WE HAVENT GOT ANY FUCKING BREAD!"

"Got any nails?"

"No!"

"Got any bread?"

hahahaha

I l aughed

oh wow.. i'm so gonna use that one some day ^^

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open
foyer."

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him "Juan".
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
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Unless it's mad, passionate, Extraordinary love, It's a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life Love shouldn't be one of them.