Whilst in no way questioning Cham3leon's popularity, integrity, manliness, phwoar factor or general gorgeousness.......................




................... and wishing him nothing but my honest, heartfelt and genuine congratulations.........................


...................I have just found the button on the side for "Top 50 Cornish" people.....................



...................Obviously the counting software needs replacing as i dont seem to appear in the rankings - SHURELY SHOME MISHTAKE????????????

Yep, you'right, Dodgy.

But did you notice he has dropped right out of the "friends" category. (Bitch, bitch)

And did you notice the hair? Ok, my best advice would be .... Take a lawnmower, flymo your chin down to about 0.25 inches, (designer stubble), then do what he did, and velcro the cuttings on the top of your head. That should get you up in the rankings a treat. If you can't get enough hair, then use a marker pen. They'll never know the difference

What do you all say, girls?

_________________

Took your advice freeagain, as a hunk who obviously knows.

Lead on the flymow wouldnt reach up the stairs to the bathroom, so had to use a push-mower.

You any idea how difficult it is to push a 50Lb mower across your face whilst standing still in front of the mirror?

Anyway, after a few mishaps had enough in the grass cuttings box to attempt phase two - the re-application.

Unfortunately, got the glue mixed up with the deep heat - did nothing but make me run down the stairs and plunge my shredded face into the ornamental pond in the garden.

On the bright side, when I surfaced for air, it was to find that I now had a beautiful head of weed.

As the Doctors spoke to me, all I could chant was "Must beat Cham3leon".

I now type this from the main ward.

I have to go as the dribble is starting to interfere with the keyboard, and Lord Nelson is waiting to use the hospital PC (admittedly to hit Jesus over the head with, but Hey-ho!!)

Thanks for the advice - when the meds wear off, i will just admit defeat.

Yeah, don't worry, Dodgy. There's nothing like a spell in hospital to bring out the maternal instinct in all those girls reading this thread. Play the sympathy card for all its worth, mate. You don't often get a handful of trumps. Make hay!!

Oh, and now that I'm your image consultant, what about that name? You know, most girls like something a bit naughty, so how about "Very Dodgy"? or even more daring ...... "Extremely Dodgy"? You'll have them eating out of your hand, I guarrantee.

Now, about my fee ............


PS. I forgot to mention. Watch out for the gold-diggers. there will be many who are only out for one thing. The rights to your new elixir for hair (or weed)growth. I hope you patented it. And don't forget to have a pre-nuptual contract that explicitly states your discovery (of growing weed on your head) is yours, and yours alone. Tread carefully, mate. Its a minefield out there.

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Oooops!!! Appologies Cham3leon if you found offense. Nothing personal ever intended. I just found Dodgy's initial post quite funny, and brought out his undoubtedly good sense of humour. I assumed you would have had an equal sense of humour, but sorry if I was wrong.

Kind regards to you, anyway.

no offence taken, Dodgy just needs some TLC... lol hes a funny guy...
bit rough along the edges...

VERY rough along some edges!!!!

All started when i was a young ma working as a Sea Captain - a rough tough jolly sort of chap, who liked to hang out down by the Pier, where the men dressed as ladies....................................But, of course, thats another story

I'm staying out of this one ... dresses .... sea captains ..... "when I was a young ma" (????). lol