I know this is kinda odd, but I've never actually kissed a girl . It's not because I'm scared of them or something, but it's just that I've never been able to get close to a girl because of my faith. So, this is gonna sound a little desperate, but would any of the ladies here care to do me the honour?

no worries mate.
I can help you.
come over, have a beer or two.I'll give you my worthy wife.mean wile I will cook some beans.
when I'm done,I'll come and watch.
do you mind?
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"room for your thoughts"

Honestly, all I can say to that is marry off

Sheesh, a man offers his wife and all he gets is a 'marry off'?

Where's the gratitude?

If his wife is half as good looking as he is you have really done yourself a disservice!